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And they won’t talk about anything sexual until you do.
In the above story, I finally embraced my sexuality and made the topic of sex out to be fun and no big deal.
Whether it’s friends, family, religion, or media — many of us were raised to think that expressing our sexual interest (flirting) was wrong. This is especially true for many women who are afraid of being seen as “slutty” or too forward.
Because of this, women often won’t signal their interest first.
Instead, you want her to feel this is something natural, normal, and FUN to talk about. Mine was horrible…I remember being so nervous that when I first went in to kiss her, I shoulder checked her instead.
“My friend and I just made a bet and we want you to settle it. ” I’d just read some pick-up advice that told me to approach girls in bars with that question. They even began debating each other and trying to argue their viewpoints playfully to me.
The absolute worst things you can do are apologize or try to explain why you didn’t mean to be “weird”.
All you’re going to do is reinforce that this subject is shameful and wrong.
That will come off as intense and discourage a woman from opening up. If she’s discussing them with you, you can move towards heavier ones.
(Examples go from lighter to heavier) Remember that these subjects often trigger feelings of shame and defensiveness.
I’m not expecting you walk up to random women with questions women like that. In fact, I’ve found that while that approach can work, you usually get a much stronger response and connection if you wait until later in the conversation.