It can appear through name-calling, sarcasm, and making fun of the partner.
Stonewalling is the term used to describe when one partner shuts down on the other partner or refuses to talk or engage. These behaviors are a death knell to the relationship unless both partners are willing to realize that they contribute to these problems and learn to use the antidotes.
Am I wasting my time dating people who all align with my type? A: It depends on what you mean by “type.” If you are talking about a “type” of personality that is athletic, energetic, adventurous, intelligent, or outgoing, then there is nothing wrong with having a “type.” However, if the type that you gravitate toward is more of a sarcastic, aloof, or mysterious type whose behavior tends to stress you out, then you might be headed for problems.
What’s more important than type is how the person interacts with you and with others.
Does this person make you feel important by following through with promises and commitments?
What we have learned from the research on relationships is that there are four behaviors that will kill relationships: criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling.
That’s a pretty hefty drop in sample size, but more than enough to draw firm conclusions from the data.
She has spent 25 years working with individuals and couples in marital therapy, affair recovery, depression, anxiety, parenting, and divorce.
In addition to the ability to be introspective about your own contribution to the relationship, notice if your potential partner is trustworthy and committed.
Trust means that this person will be there for you in your time of need, will have your back, and keep your best interests in mind when they make decisions.
Recent work has suggested that we do have go-to preferences when it comes to demographic and physical characteristics such as education, age difference, hair color, and height.
However, no previous research has provided strong evidence that we consistently seek a particular personality type across partners.
The antidotes are simple in theory, but often difficult to practice because they don’t come naturally to some people.